The Top Ten Things FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) People Won’t Tell You

I'm a big fan of the top ten list. One of my all-time favorite talk show host David Letterman made them famous. I have always been a fan of his quick wit and sarcasm.

So in that vein, today I introduce a new feature on the blog, my own series of top ten list that will poke fun at the world of personal finance and bloggers.

Today I set my sights on the FIRE crowd. All of a sudden there are all kinds of FIREs coming out of the woodwork. Lean FIRE, Fat FIRE, and Mr.1500's Fart Fire.

They are indeed a feisty and festive crowd worthy of a top ten list.

top ten

So here is the Top Ten Things FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) People Won't Tell You:

10. The Prodigy's song Firestarter is their official workout/theme song.
9. They miss the taste of office cooler water.
8. They wish they had a thick, luxurious mustache.
7. Instead of a retirement calculator, or spreadsheet, most used an abacus to estimate their retirement saving.
6. Over 90% of their members don't know how to build a real fire.
5. They'd live in a smaller home, but even toilets take up a few square feet.
4. Mini Retirement is their secret code word for going to rehab.
3. They enjoy working. It's people they can't stand.
2. They'd much rather live in the United States, but places like Vietnam, Nicaragua, and Guam all have better cheeseburgers.

And the number one Things FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) People Won't Tell You:

They secretly miss their day jobs!

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