Stepping into a new role, a career, or making a big lifestyle change can be a challenge, and even be intimidating.
Many of us are so comfortable or used to our current circumstances that taking a big step out into something new can feel like we’re somehow making an overly rash or immature decision. However, this is not true at all.
If you’re taking that step out to renew and appreciate your life by taking a risk, there’s a chance that it isn’t stupidity, just pure courage and a wish to make the most of your time on this earth. (Even if it seems scary)
Here is some helpful advice to potentially help you achieve your goals.
Six Steps to Achieve Your Goals
Stop Making Excuses & Belittling Yourself
The anxious or worried subconscious has a million small ways of telling you that you are not good enough. Innate in humans is the ability to track our place in the social hierarchy, based on many different factors. This is also seen in creatures such as lobsters, who know what position on the social and mating competency scale they are part of. Thankfully it’s not as necessary with us humans, but it’s still there.
So how does this translate to you?
Well, if you have been alone at home raising your child, dealing with single parenthood or perhaps you’ve been out of the game for some time due to a divorce (although not necessarily confined to dating), then coming back to this place can feel like you’re an explorer once again charting an alien planet.
Our minds wonder why we weren’t there in the first place, achieving what we needed, and developing ourselves appropriately. It can be hard to answer that question.
But why let it dictate your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs? Sure, none of us have major control over our subconscious mind. But we do have the ability to direct our action and act in spite of everything we tell ourselves. For example, think of the first time you decided to go for a run. It can feel scary to do so. Will you be looked at funnily? Do you not have what it takes? Then, you decide to take part in it. And you enjoy it. You feel great about it. And the fear is gone.
This progression is something to understand and appreciate. Why should you hold yourself back when you can develop in the best possible measure? It all starts with your self-talk. Thoughts become actions, and actions become habits. When you start from the level of what you accept in telling yourself, or what you accept that others tell you, you have a high degree of control.
Actualize Your Dreams
There’s a weird disconnect that often comes to adults as they mature and consider the realism of the life they live. We might have once had ambitions to become a singer, a dancer, to become a nurse with online MSN-FNP educational programs, or to perhaps work towards an intended personal goal.
But despite curating these dreams in our minds, rarely do we think we are capable of achieving them. We often stick with that which is in our wheelhouse, that we are familiar with. Additionally, where we live or the kind of life we occupy gives us varying measures of opportunity in the first place.
Actualizing your dreams is not as easy as snapping your fingers and gaining the best advantage going forward. This is a good thing. If it were like that, we wouldn’t appreciate the hard work and skill development it takes to get there. Those who have everything handed to them know that this wouldn’t have come except an extreme privilege, and this can be a difficult thing to parse. But why should actualizing your dreams mean sacrificing absolutely everything, running yourself into the ground and risking it all for something that may never pan out? Taking simple steps, there can be the best solution. It is all you can ever do, step by step by step.
Refine Your Social Circle
In 2019, soon to be 2020, there is absolutely no reason as to why you should accept false friends, people who make you feel less than yourself, or those who are happy to disparage you. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. You can be sure that at least some of them are the friends you will cherish. Refining your social circle may be one of the most freeing things you can be a part of. It’s also straightforward to do this. How do you feel when they are around?
Do you feel dread when your friend asks to meet up with you? That’s not a friend.
Do you feel as though your partner never listens to a single word, you say? There’s a chance they care little for you. It’s these realizations that can help you stop adhering to toxic relationships.
There may not be a need to cut them out of your life, of course. But discussing how you feel with them may give them the understanding that you are being affected in this way, which is the first step. If they shrug it off, you now know you’re not walking on the proper footing.
Actualizing your dreams is a challenge, yes, but it’s often something that you have thought about for some time, not always something that is entirely new and novel. Challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone means welcoming this potential novelty with both hands, overcoming yourself despite everything. Thankfully, this can be a true helper going forward, giving you the tools to overcome everything.
Why not start a new martial art? Why not host that book club for reading a broad and dense classic you have always wanted to keep on top of? Why not volunteer at a local charity drive or even, potentially, take acting lessons and volunteer to be part of the productions they are putting on? Challenging yourself is much more than you may think it is. It’s not just getting out of your comfort zone.
Having something like this in mind can help your entire life feel enthused. Think, do you have anything in your life that could adhere to this format right now? Do you believe that you can, or do you struggle to adopt that mindset? It’s these impressions and efforts that can often help you realize when you need to bust out and enjoy something more your speed.
Go For That Style You Like
A large part of the personality is not merely what you do on a given day, but also how you present yourself. It can be that while you may look lovely now, spending a little time refining your wardrobe, going for that haircut you’ve thought about or even finally getting that tattoo you’ve been pondering for two years can give you that revivified mindset.
Many of us can feel ashamed of making that extra effort, as we don’t want to be seen as going overboard or caring too much. But the truth is, feeling your best is often directly associated with how you feel and how confident you think you can be. You needn’t wear the best clothes or have the best figure at all, but merely being able to present yourself how you’d like is a worthwhile consideration to keep.
All of our advice in the previous words can be summarized – do not limit yourself artificially. If you are limiting yourself, try and find out why. Odds are, there's a reason that you are doing this, and this often means there’s a reason you can get out of it. Sel limits serve no one for the most part. They can leave us to live a life we may not be as interested in, or that honestly bores us. Even if you have two children to look after, hectic life outside of that and perhaps an overwhelming amount on your plate, there’s always something you can do, even if it’s just a simple 10-minute meditation each morning.
The Bottom Line
Perspective is often something that can change when you start attacking these self-limits one by one. While it may seem that attacking these limits is as simple as fighting them, questioning why they are there is the first step. As a sage man once said when asked, ‘why do you climb the mountain?’ he responded ‘because it’s there.’ It’s this mindset that can ensure your life is revivified eternally.
Michael launched Your Money Geek to make personal finance fun. He has worked in personal finance for over 20 years, helping families reduce taxes, increase their income, and save for retirement. Michael is passionate about personal finance, side hustles, and all things geeky.