Jeff The Killer vs. Jane The Killer

Crappy Pastas


What follows is a Crappypastata. Beware, Crappypastas are terrifying short horror stories of varying quality, but usually, they are all bad. Any similarities to real-life events, people, places, or quality writing is purely unintentional.

These posts have received minimal editing for formatting and grammar to preserve your sanity.


 Point of Jane

That night was cold. Very cold. I ran through the streets, cleverly and swiftly. I reached the top of a tall building and perked up to look out upon the city. 

I took off my mask and looked down on the busy roadways. I’m not sure why I still wore the mask, even though my face was healed. The mask had become a part of me — a part of my story. 

I sat down on the rooftop and tuned in my radio to the local police channel. I sat for hours trying to find calls on murders that may have been linked to Jeff. After nine years, since the night Jeff burned me, I was still on my search to hunt and kill him.

I finally heard the anticipated call. A woman and her husband were found dead in their home with holes in their chests and gashes in their cheeks, forming smiles. I turned off the radio, put my mask on, and sprinted to the scene. 

The police hadn’t arrived yet, so I investigated. Jeff has a habit of calling the authorities just before finishing his victims, so he may still be at the scene. 

Upon arrival, the house is entirely intact, which is odd for Jeff. He usually burns the house with the victims. I barged inside and heard nothing but still silence. In the back of the house, I heard a faint tapping. 

I headed to the back of the house. I grabbed the doorknob of the back door and slowly turned it with sweaty, stressed palms. I squinted my eyes as I opened it, expecting something or someone to lunge at me. 

The door opened all the way, and my eyes were still closed for some reason. Then I heard it. That voice. That same voice I heard on the night. He burned me, only deeper and more into manhood. “Looks like you made it. I’m glad you did, friend.” I opened my eyes and grabbed my knife.

Point of Jeff

Killing is too easy. Especially for me with a face that stuns people with its beauty. I open the window, jump inside, and the civilians just stop in their tracks when they see me. I always mutter my “Go to Sleep” in an attack. Killing is a lot easier when the person is asleep. 

Why do I kill? Simple. I want everyone to be as beautiful as me. Everyone in modern society is ugly and unattractive compared to me, and I feel bad for them, so I give them a piece of my beauty. 

However, beauty comes with a price. The only way to make people beautiful without causing them pain is to kill them.

Killing was too easy around that time. I needed more of a challenge. So, one night, I decided to end one last easy target then head for the most challenging foe of mine. Jane.

I sat in the sewers during the day and watched the people pass by, completely oblivious to my presence below the sewer grate. I always lurk down there. It’s dark, cold, and damp. Plus, it gives me the perfect window to set my eyes on my target. 

Then, I found her. Mary J. Allan. She was beautiful — perfect skin, dark red hair, and dressed in a black gown with black heels. 

Later that night, I followed her home. She lived deep in the woods, so, thinking she was protected from robbers, she left her door unlocked. At around midnight, I snuck in the house, crept to the backroom, and choked Mary until she passed out. 

One thing that caught my attention was her eyes. When she turned around before I grabbed her neck, her eyes widened with fear. Her pupils grew large, and her iris dimmed.

Not long after, her husband arrived home. I took my knife in hand and hid behind the door entering the bedroom. As soon as he walked into the doorway, I slammed the door into his face with enough force to knock him out. A few hours later, they both woke up.

“Who are you? Why are you doing this to us? We have no money and nothing worth stealing,” said Mary.

“I’m not doing this for money. I’m doing this for beauty,” I replied.

“What? What kind of reason is that?” asked the husband.

I put the knife to his neck, and he jumped with sudden fear. His eyes. They did just what Mary’s eyes did. They widened, the pupils grew larger, and the iris dimmed.

“A good reason,” I chuckled. “Now, let’s give you a smile.”

I stabbed the man in his left cheek and carved into him all the way to his mouth. His screams of pain only brought joy to my ears. I carved the other cheek and stood in front of Mary.

“Your turn,” I said, stabbing her right cheek, and dragging the knife all the way to her other cheek. “There, step one of your make-over is complete. Now for your skin. But first, let’s call the police, shall we?” I said, picking up the phone and dialing 9-1-1. I reported the crime and hung up.

I then took a bottle of bleach from their bathroom and poured the entire bottle onto them. I lit a match but decided not to light them on fire. Why? Because I’m going to need this place for my battle with Jane, of course. 

To replace burning them, I decided to cut out their hearts instead. I started with Mary and plunged my knife deep into her chest. I used all of my might to cut a hole in her and rip out her heart. 

Blood was all over the floor, and Mary was dead, but the man was still alive. His screams and cries only motivated me to kill him more painfully than his wife.

“Stop, please, I’ll do anything you want me to. Please, just don’t kill me,” he said.

“There’s nothing you can do now,” I said as I plunged my knife into his chest, but slower than Mary, and I made sure that I twisted the blade as it went. Before I could begin cutting the hole, the body went limp. 

“Well, that’s no fun. You can’t just die before I’m done killing you. Oh well, it only gives me more time to prepare for my battle with Jane,” I said. I cleaned the blood off of my blade and got myself mentally prepared for the battle, for I knew that Jane would be listening to the police radios.

About 3 minutes later, I heard the front door of the house burst open. ‘This is it,’ I thought. I equipped my knife and caught Jane’s attention by tapping faintly on the window. A few seconds later, the doorknob turned, and the door opened. Jane, more beautiful than ever, stood in the doorway. I gripped my knife and prepared for the battle of a lifetime.

Point of Jane

I ran towards Jeff at top speed and dodged his first attack. Being behind him, I lunged at him and attempted to stab him in the spine, but his reflexes got the best of me, and he turned around and twisted my arm. I dropped my knife, and Jeff began stabbing me in the side multiple times.

“It’s going to take more than that to bring me down, Jeff,” I said.

I stepped on the handle of my knife with force, flinging it up into my hand. I stabbed Jeff in the neck, but he ignored it and continued to stab me. I managed to push him off of me, and I began kicking him as hard as I could. 

When he looked as if he’d had enough, I knelt and ran the tip of my knife across his carved smile. “That’s too bad. I thought this was going to be more exciting and much harder than this. Oh well, at least I can now complete my life’s goal,” I said.

“Jane. Don’t do this. We can be partners. The two greatest killers in history. Teamed up, we can make everyone beautiful like us.” said Jeff.

“Never. Not after what you’ve done,” I said. Jeff swooped his foot around and kicked me in the face. I flew across the room and hit the wall. Jeff stood up and walked over to me.

“You’re nothing in comparison to me, Jane. I am a God. I am immortal.” he said.

“No, Jeff. You’re not a God. Gods are beautiful. And you? You’re hideous,” I said, struggling to stand. Jeff is brimmed with rage after that statement.

“I shouldn’t have let you live. I had so many opportunities to end you. Now, here, it all ends. Let the better Killer win.” he said.

Point of Jeff

I looked at Jane and her beautiful face. My mind was buzzing with images of her cut all over and drenched in her own blood. I only smiled wider as she made a perfect slash at my neck. I could feel my warm blood gush down my chest.

“You caught me off guard,” I said, barely able to speak. I blanked out the wound and grabbed Jane’s neck to choke her. She put both of her feet on my chest and pushed with all her might. My hands slipped, and I let go.

“I’ve had time to train, Jeff. It’s been nine years. Fighting police officers and pathetic men trying to protect their families. It’s been good practice.” she said.

“Not enough,” I said, as I lunged at her from the side. I slipped my knife into her stomach and twisted it around. She did not seem to respond to the pain. All she did was stare into the dark of the room, which was only illuminated by the moonlight. 

After seconds that felt like hours, I saw red and blue flashing lights. I took out my knife and saw Jane limp to the floor, dead. “Guess I won, Jane.”

Point of Jane

I waited until Jeff turned around, then I quietly stood up and gripped my knife. I threw it at Jeff’s back, directly in his spinal cord. He fell to the ground, paralyzed. I took out the knife and rolled his body over. 

He muttered words, but I couldn’t hear them. I looked into his unblinking eyes and saw nothing but darkness behind them. I raised my knife one last time. For some reason, a tear formed in my eye.

“Jane,” I could hear him mutter.

Before I could finish him, something ignited in his eyes. Something I’ve never seen before. All of Time came to a halt. The police lights outside froze, and the clock in the room stopped. Jeff rose from the ground.

“I told you, Jane. I’m a God,” he said.

“No, you’re a demon,” I said. I quickly lashed at Jeff, but he grabbed my arm and broke it. I screamed out in agony.

“What’s the difference?” he asked.

I backed away from him, unable to use my right arm. The sky outside turned a bright red. The clouds held orange, stationary bolts of lightning. 

This was no ordinary battle. This was a battle between Good and Evil. The ultimate clash for supremacy. 

That’s when I realized it; Jeff planned this. He’s a demon. He’s been building an army of souls. “You’re feeding off of them. You’re taking their pain, grief, and anger and turning it all into fuel. You’re a sick, twisted creature,” I spat out.

“You’re so smart,” he said sarcastically. “Took you long enough to figure it out. I thought you were better than that, Jane.”

“You have the souls of your thousands of victims, but I have the souls of our families.” I declared. The souls of my family and Jeff’s family appeared behind me, illuminating a light blue. 

Behind Jeff appeared rows and rows of children, men, and women, glowing a deep red. My mother gave me enough of her happiness to heal my arm. Jeff’s brother gave me the bravery to stand up to Jeff one last time. My father gave me his hope to fuel and heal my stab wounds.

“You’re no match for me now, Jeff. One Good soul can stand above a million Evil souls.” I said.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” said Jeff. He began to absorb the souls of his victims. “Yes. More.”

I ran up to him and swung my knife at him, but he blocked it, and when our knives touched, they blew out a purple spark. Jeff’s knee was bent, so I took the advantage and stepped one foot on it, then pushed up and flipped backward, letting my feet extend and kick Jeff in the chin. 

When I landed, Jeff instantly slashed my face, but Jeff’s mother healed it for me. I took a quick swing at Jeff, but he grabbed my knife and threw it across the room. 

He cupped my throat and pushed me against the wall, raising me upward. I couldn’t do anything but try my hardest to kick him. My body flailed around, desperately trying to escape. The room began to spin and get dark.

“Go to Sleep,” Jeff said convincingly.

I held on to my last grasp of consciousness, only to let it go. Before I could go into a deep sleep, I got a sudden boost of energy and managed to kick Jeff hard enough to make him let go and fall to the ground. I slid down the wall and walked over to Jeff. 

“I’m done with you. It’s time you die,” I whispered.

“No,” said Jeff, grabbing my arm. “Good has always won. It’s time for Evil to prevail.”

I kicked Jeff again and picked up my knife. “You have been defeated, Jeff. Accept it,” I said.

“Jeff, the Killer. You are Satan’s most wanted in Hell. We must now banish you from this realm to the place where you belong,” all of Jeff’s victims and our families said in unison. 

The souls gathered around him and put their hands up. The ground around Jeff began to crack and fall into the fire. Eventually, only a small platform was holding Jeff up.

“Please, no,” said Jeff.

“Jeff. Go to Sleep,” I said, just before the final platform broke, and sent Jeff plummeting into Hell. During his descent, Jeff screamed the same way he did when he was being burned alive at the party nine years ago. 

I promised I would make Jeff scream like that again, and I have.

The floorboards rebuilt themselves, and the souls turned to me. All of them in unison said, “Thank you, Jane. You have freed us from the curse of Jeff, the Killer. As a reward, we will bind your mask to your face, so you won’t ever have to deal with it again.” The mask was fused to my face, and my eyes turned a deep black.

“Thank you,” I said. The souls faded, and the sky turned to normal. I jumped out of the window, making sure to dodge the cops before Time came back on because I still had a criminal record to worry about.

4 Years Later

Jeff the Killer is dead. All of his cases went cold, police stopped searching for him, and they stopped searching for me, too. The battle between Good and Evil still rages, but mine and Jeff’s parts in the war are over. Our legendary battle was Good’s prevail. 

I have a husband and two kids now, and we’re a very happy family. Will I ever murder again? Perhaps. If anyone tries to hurt my new family, I will not hesitate to hunt again.

Credit To – Darkfear


Thanks for stopping by and reading this post. 

If you enjoyed this story, check out another Geek Short Story like this one here.

You can submit your own previously unpublished horror or sci-fi short story right here.

Scroll to Top