Crappy Pastas

I Hate Insects


What follows is a Crappypastata. Beware, Crappypastas are terrifying short horror stories of varying quality, but usually, they are all bad. Any similarities to real-life events, people, places, or quality writing is purely unintentional.

These posts have received minimal editing for formatting and grammar to preserve your sanity.


I Hate Insects

I hate ants. That’s a bit of an understatement actually. I hate small insects in general. I get that they’re hardly adored by a lot of people but for me it’s different. It always has been.

Ghosts, spirits, monsters, and demons have never frightened me or so much as made me mildly uncomfortable. Insects, however, particularly the aforementioned ants have always been the subject of much disdain from me.

Their horrific little pincers, their repulsive little hairs, their unthinkable little compound eyes. Absolutely disgusting.

I’m not sure were my hate of these little creatures, which are so vital to humanity's continued survival as a species on this planet first began.

Perhaps it was the nest of fire ants I planted my tent on my first camping trip. Or the history teacher who sent 3 girls to matron when being a bit too enthusiastic in explaining to a group of 11-year-olds the horrors of plague-carrying fleas. But suffice to say, I hate them.

Of course, considering the natural predisposition I just spelled out for you, you can understand why I was so very annoyed when I started to notice tiny little insectoid creatures that bore a startling resemblance to ants crawling around my home.

It started off very subtle at first. If I was slumbering or daydreaming I would see something dart across an empty wall out of the corner of my eye and look to see what it was only to find the wall blank slate.

I would wake up mysteriously at ungodly hours in the night; I always assumed the cause of these night-time disturbances were the tiny little black shapes I would see dart for different corners of my bedroom ceiling when I opened my eyes.

Eventually, growing sick of my tiny tormentors, I decided to set small traps on my wardrobe and draws in the hope of catching some of the critters. That way I could figure out what they were and from that the correct way of getting rid of them.

I crafted various simplistic traps since I didn’t know what it was that I was dealing with. Each contained various different objects my little friends are known to find irresistible.

Since I had no idea if my little visitors were even insects, let alone what species they could have been. Some contained sweet substances, such as honey and decaying fruit.

Some contained small candles or torches but all contained some amount of whatever sticky substance I could get my hands on in my vain attempt to immobilize one of my household invaders.

I only wanted to trap them. If I could find out what species or at least family of creature I was dealing then I could work out how best to orchestrate their demise. Yet, every time I checked one of my traps I would find nothing but the same foreboding emptiness.

This went on and on for Christ-knows how many months. That was until I saw something that changed my perspective on the whole situation.

One night, when I got my nightly wakeup call from my foul little guests I noticed something extremely strange. I watched one of the little shits walk straight through a trap like it wasn’t there. How the hell did it do that?

This raised all manner of questions, each more disturbing than the last; were they really there? Was my eyesight going? I mean, I had been getting a lot of itching on my eye recently which I had put down to hayfever due to the worryingly high pollen count that summer.

Was it my sanity going? It seemed too weird to be true, but at the same time, it seemed the most likely option. I had become so accustomed to my unwelcome houseguests that they had started to blend in with the rest of my daily routine.

They were just there. They just happened. Just as day always follows night, these bugs would always be there. Now that I realized there was a possibility that a large chunk of my day to day life may not really be there I began to question my own view of reality.

To think that I had been hallucinating all along turned my world upside down. It would be like someone telling you that the sun was really blue; you only imagined it was yellow. Seems unimportant but was at the same time strangely terrifying.

Suffice to say in my panic I went to both the opticians and the psychologists. After innumerable tests and having spent more time in the company of white coat wearing doctors with names ending in Neurophysiologist then anyone should ever have to endure, they seemed to have a complete picture of me as a person as well as of my eyesight.

Both were perfectly normal. I was a well-rounded individual with near-perfect eyesight. Then what the fuck were those things? I had refrained from revealing to anyone, even the doctors about the strange little creatures that had taken dominion of my house.

I would rather not have been IMMEDIATELY branded as a lunatic that very much.

I continued to think about this when I got home. I sat at my little office chair at the desk in my study and thought about what my next move should be.

Should I call my local exterminators to completely eradicate any insect life in my house? Should I seek out spiritual help from some sort of priest or medium?

Maybe I should – My thought was cut short. I felt an unusual sensation in my right eye. It was something like between tickling and itching. I allowed my knee-jerk reaction to kick in and did what came naturally, I scratched my eye.

I heard a tiny squelching sound and felt something drop onto my bottom eyelid and then splat onto the desk below. I panicked, flailing around for a few moments, thinking something had flown into my eye but quickly regained my composure and began to examine what lay on my desk.

There, on the smooth, white creamy surface of a sheet of paper unused, lay a tiny bug.

I picked up the little insectoid form for closer inspection. The second it got within a couple of inches of my face and just before I got a good look at its top section it sprang into action.

It flapped its numerous minuscule appendages at me and rolled over onto what I assumed to be its front. It then, as I sat dumbfounded, pointed some form of what I assumed to be orifice on the lower part of its body at the middle of my nose.

Just seconds before I snapped back to reality and squashed the thing it sprayed a tiny little steam of some viscous yellow in the general direction of my face. It exploded into a shower of grey shell and black blood the moment I applied a tiny amount of pressure to it.

As I sat there for a moment, goading silently about my triumph over the repulsive little mongrel, it took me a few moments to register a strange sensation on my nose. Sort of an itch. I touched it and my finger came away spotted with a yellow liquid.

I then felt something moving on my left eye. Like some tiny entity had just awoken only to find itself trapped under the suffocating darkness of my eyelid. Then another, then another, then another until my eye seemed to be moving and convulsing on its own.

I then noticed my nose had begun to sting and put my hand to it. I shit you not, there, where the yellow liquid had been only seconds before was a small, bloody hole right in the middle of my nose.

While admiring the blood on my hand I felt a sort of small itching sensation run down my eyeball, then another, then another.

Suddenly the itching turned into burning and the burning in turn began to transform into a blinding pain as I began to scream and flail around like a fish out of water, whacking my head against walls as the strange yellow liquid poured across my eyeball.

I don’t know what got me in the end, the acid burning down through my eye socket into my brain, or a blow strong enough to smash my skull. All that’s left now is that one final thought that went through my frenzied mind.

I hate insects.

Credit To – CreepyZalgo
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